Friday, March 30, 2007

Offensive clothing to be banned

Mike Farnworth, MLA for Port Coquitlam-Burke Mountain (NDP), has tabled a bill that calls for a ban on clothing considered "intimidating and threatening".

Mike Farnworth said his bill would make it illegal for members of motorcycle gangs to wear their distinctive jackets in bars, pubs or anywhere liquor is served.

He said gang members often use the clothing to intimidate and threaten other people.

No word on whether softball uniforms and bowling league jerseys will also be banned.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

A Parody of Parity

I've yet to see the League's post-lockout parody.

That guy playing the role of Paul Kariya is amazing. It looks just like him.
I wonder who will play the Sedin Twins?

Update: the image has been removed now, but I caught it before The Hockey News' editors! :-)

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Liberalism is a Mental Disorder Day

Darcey has proclaimed March 24th as Liberalism is a Mental Disorder Day. His idea is come up with as many bizarre news stories involving liberals and their ilk. They don't even have to be true! I've added my two cents, but there are so many real and honest examples of liberal insanity, that one doesn't have to invent anything. In that vein, I present to you a story of ultimate social-liberal bullshit optimism:

UN Security Council unanimously approves new sanctions against Iran

The UN Security Council voted unanimously Saturday to impose moderately tougher sanctions against Iran for its refusal to stop enriching uranium.

The sanctions — intended to show Tehran defiance will leave it increasingly isolated — include banning Iranian arms exports and freezing the assets of 28 people and organizations involved in Iran’s nuclear and missile programs.

"Moderately tougher sanctions". Wouldn't want to offend anyone, would we? If this isn't a prime example of cognitive dissonance, then I don't know what is. You can probably guess what the Iranian response is. They are going to shut down all their uranium enrichment facilities, cease encouraging acts of terrorism, recognize Israel as a nation, and allow religious and personal freedom for every man, woman, and child Iran.


And if you believe that, then you are clearly suffering from a mental disorder as well.

Iranian Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki rejected the sanctions and said Iran has no intention of suspending its enrichment program.

“The world must know — and it does — that even the harshest political and economic sanctions or other threats are far too weak to coerce the Iranian nation to retreat from their legal and legitimate demands,” Mottaki told the Security Council after the vote.

“Suspension is neither an option nor a solution.”

Awesome! Weeks of bureaucratic posturing and self-congratulatory flagellation and what do we have? A Big Bucket of Liberal Piss!

“It’s a significant international rebuke to Iran and it’s a significant tightening of international pressure on Iran,” (R. Nicholas Burns, U.S. undersecretary for political affairs) said.

“We do believe it’s going to leave Iran even more isolated than it has been.”

Does anyone with seven synapses firing really believe this "international time-out" is going to have any effect on Iran's position? In case you didn't quite understand, lets review Iran's response to these sanctions:

Iran responded by expanding enrichment and has insisted the sanctions will only motivate it further to pursue nuclear power.

I know, I know, I know! Shocking!

The new sanctions — already a compromise between the stronger measures favoured by the United States and the Western Europeans and the softer approach advocated by Russian and China — are considered modest. The ban on exports is among the harshest measures but many of Iran’s arms sales may not be affected because they are illicitly sent to militant groups like Lebanon’s Hezbollah and Shiite Muslim militias in Iraq.

Colour me shocked. Actually, you know what? Don't colour me anything except utterly bemused by this brainless turn of events. The moderate sanctions are nothing more than smokescreens and mirrors designed to make it appear as though the UN and their liberal do-gooder supporters are accomplishing anything other than wasting time, money, and precious oxygen.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Yes, but did he hurt anyone?

Tony La Russa has been charged with drunk driving:

La Russa gave two breath samples and had a blood alcohol content of 0.093 percent, Jupiter police said in a statement. Florida's legal driving limit is 0.08 percent.

.093 isn't exactly hammered. He was sleeping inside his vehicle!

The SUV was in drive and running, with La Russa's foot on the brake, police said. When he woke up, the officers asked him to get out of the SUV. La Russa was cooperative during his arrest, police said.

Heh, they should have just told him to park his car in the nearest spot and sleep it off.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The people I hate

I hate these bastards. None of them know how to play poker.

Especially that maggot on the left... I don't want to say who he is, but he is a dishonourable piece of filth!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I don't know whether to laugh or shout "Blasphemy!"

Courtesy MSNBC, Hayden Panetierre desecrates Lord Stanley's mug.

Two questions immediately come to my mind:

Isn't there a Canadian law against this sort of thing?

Does she know where that cup has been?

She should be arrested and have her mouth washed out with soap.

Monday, March 19, 2007

No Red Ensign at the Vimy Ridge Memorial?

Update March 21: I've learned via the Flea that the Red Ensign will, in fact, fly at Vimy. Kudos to Harper for making such a statement. He may be enjoying his little vote-buying spending spree right now, but at least he's got a sense of history!

Nicolas alerted me to a most pressing issue, one that has my full attention:

It's the flag the Canadians carried into battle when they captured Vimy Ridge in 1917. And it's the flag that should be flying when thousands assemble at the Canadian National Vimy Memorial next month for the unveiling of the restored monument to mark the 90th anniversary of the battle, say members of a campaign to get the Red Ensign to Vimy Ridge for the ceremony.

Well well well, Captain Obvious has made an appearance! You would think the Red Ensign would be most welcome at the Canadian National Vimy Memorial. After all, the Red Ensign was the flag that Canadian troops marched under during this crucial battle of World War One. You'd be wrong though. No Red Ensign here, folks. Move along.

...Veterans Affairs has told Mr. Bishop and Mr. Heyes, who both had grandfathers who fought in the First World War, there is no plan to fly the Red Ensign flag at Vimy.
The ceremony is a Canadian government event and will therefore feature only the Maple Leaf, they were told.

Leave it to the bureaucrats to forget our shared history and screw up the memorial to a battle that forged our nation.

Mr. Bishop said you can't change the fact that the Red Ensign was the flag under which Canadians fought. "You can't change history and it was so important to the First World War guys."

Mr. Bishop said that when he tells older people -- those who remember the Red Ensign -- that that flag doesn't fly at the Vimy memorial, they're always surprised. "It's part of our heritage," he said.

Mr. Bishop is absolutely correct. But don't you dare tell the Canadian government that:

The ceremony is a Canadian government event and will therefore feature only the Maple Leaf

I've written an email to the Vimy Memorial branch of Veterans Affairs, and I'd encourage you to as well.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Awww, how sweet.

Man Saves Bulldog With Mouth-to-Snout Resuscitation:

Lucy had jumped into a partly frozen lake in pursuit of ducks and geese, but the water was too cold for her.

When Gurchin edged onto the ice and pulled Lucy out of the water, she was unresponsive and her face and paws were blue.

He closed her mouth, put his mouth over her nose, breathed air into her lungs and pushed on her chest, and after about a minute she began shallow breaths.

I can't say I'd do the same :-)


Thursday, March 08, 2007

They do it on purpose... to make me laugh

I think this poll at TSN is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. The hits just keep on coming for the hapless Oil and their downtrodden fans.

One wonders why Lupul and Pisani are not on the list of potential "faces".

Vancouver 2010: The Untold Horror

Instead of spending public funds on the 2010 games, perhaps the government of BC could pay some heed to those who have been marginalized in our society.

Sea to Sky Highway upgrades? Downtown development? Increased tourism dollars?

What about the Death Star? Won't somebody please think of the Death Star?

(Star Wars still sucks, btw)

Monday, March 05, 2007

Star Trek XI

The newest film in the Star Trek series will begin filming this fall, with a scheduled release for late 2008.

The screenplay, which reportedly will be a prequel revolving around a young James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock...

As a big Trek fan, I'm pleased to hear that a new movie is in the works, but I cannot help but feel a little deflated.

A prequel?

Involving Kirk and Spock?

Did they learn nothing from the low-rated prequel Enterprise series? Granted, a lot of classic Trek fans will surely come out to see a story of Kirk and Spock. But you can guarantee the comparisons to Shatner and Nimoy will abound. I'm certainly interested in who will be cast in those two roles.

I would have preferred a new Trek movie based on new characters. Or at the very least, a chronologically later movie with characters from the Deep Space Nine or Voyager. The fascination with remembering the past is quite lost on me. It seems so... so... so blatantly star wars. It's such a disgusting thought that I cannot even bring myself to capitalize that vile "series" of movies.

But take courage, fellow Star Trek buffs! You can be sure there will not be a Klingon character named Jar-Jar Binks in Star Trek XI.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

She was catching a few Z's

File this one under: two teens that need a severe beating:

Police in suburban Fort Worth, Texas, said a videotape found in a search for stolen goods appears to show two teenagers persuading a 2-year-old boy and his 5-year-old brother to smoke marijuana.


The boys' mother... has told police she was sleeping in the back bedroom during the incident. She has not been charged, Ure said.

Now, I'm no expert in raising children, and I have no kids of my own. But I'm gonna go out on a limb here and offer up the following advice to mothers out there: if your brother is a seventeen year old dope-smoking loser known to police as a thief... leaving him in charge of your children is a poor idea. Perhaps you shouldn't be sleeping during times like these.

But, what do I know?

Weekend Activity

That's me on the far side of the table.


Saturday, March 03, 2007

Answering your own question

As seen on Sportsnet's website:

Where did it go? Oh, right... there it went.

I think Sportsnet is purposely trying to torture Oiler fans. And I love it.

Friday, March 02, 2007

I feel a lot better about myself now

There, that's better.

Botched Funeral

What a despicable thing to do:

State regulators have revoked the license of a funeral home owner they say failed to properly prepare the body of a decorated military veteran whose remains were found shrouded by little more than a bloody covering in the casket.


The board said that at the Oct. 17, 2005 funeral, Williams refused to open the casket for viewing, even though Helen White had paid for an open-casket visitation. Her husband was a former Marine awarded two Purple Hearts during the Vietnam War. When she insisted on an open casket, Williams let her view the body briefly after the service.

The body was found wrapped in a stained sheet or blanket and was not wearing the suit that Williams had provided, the board said. His face lacked makeup and appeared swollen.


When Helen White demanded that Williams let her find another funeral home, Williams drove off with the body and disappeared, according to police and the report.

Police later found the body at the mortuary and another funeral director properly prepared White's body for public viewing.

There is low, and then there is really low. I'd say this qualifies as the latter.

Temujin goes crazy

Watch as Temujin goes crazy in the comments section over at Dust My Broom.

Warning! Extreme Bad Taste Alert! Foul Language is used often and without remorse!

In my defense, it was a really touchy subject. Evil asbestos my ass.


Thursday, March 01, 2007

The Soul of Nowhere

From A Theory of Ice:

We do not say hockey is a business on jersey retirement nights, we do not say it when we speak of our favorite players and most memorable playoff series. The team that wins the Cup will not say, we are victorious due to our vastly superior business sense! We will not say such things on Hockey Day in Canada, we will not say it in the debate that follows a particularly nasty brawl, nor when a gorgeous goal makes us gasp. In the fleeting final seconds of a tied game, we do not think, what a business this is. No, for these occasions, we will define hockey in different ways. We will speak of speed, excitement, and joy, of passion and skill and grace, of heart and grit and determination, of leadership, and cruelty, and honor. We will say hockey is a war or hockey is a tradition, we will make of hockey a metonym for nations and cities and every virtue or vice humanly possible.


Stanley Cup Ring to Doogie, who pointed this out in the BoA comments section here