Einstein's Theory of Relative Truth

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Stanley Cup Ring to Alan, and none for the Leafs! Bwahahahaha!.

A Garbage Scow

Yeah, what he said:

The Gold was theirs to lose and they have played piss poor with a few exceptions for the entire tournament.

Crawford Rocks

Good as Gold 

You go, girl. Nicely done.

So uhh, wanna catch a movie this weekend? How 'bout dinner? Drinks? Wax your skis? Shine your boots?

And to think, I used to hate 'em

"We always play to win games," forward Daniel Sedin said. "If you play for Sweden, you want to win games. It doesn't matter what you're playing for."

Sedin then muttered an expletive, and walked away from reporters.

Gotta love those Sedins.

Red Ensign Standard #37

This is the second time West Coast Chaos has hosted the Standard. The first time was back in June, 2005, and coincided with the anniversary of the allied landings at Normandy. This time, there is no such anniversary to commemorate. However, there were a number of stories that captured the attention of Red Ensign bloggers, if not the world. The defection of David Emerson from the Liberal Party to the Conservatives, and his acceptance of a cabinet post created a huge stir in Canadian blogging circles. The response of Conservative MP Garth Turner to Emerson's defection only served to stir the pot even faster. The riots in the Middle East and Europe as a result of the publishing of satirical cartoons also made huge headlines. In sports, the Olympic games started, and two prominent Canadians in Torino (Wayne Gretzky and Todd Bertuzzi) face potentially long legal battles.

As I put the finishing touches on the Standard, my patriotism has been stung ever-so-slightly by the Swiss Mens hockey team. Their back-up goaltender, Martin Gerber, stopped all 49 shots he faced this morning as Switzerland defeated Canada 2-0. Most Canadians will agree that these round-robin games are essentially meaningless. The real tournament begins when the quarter-final round starts. But for this Canadian, every game is important. I don't want to see our boys lose.

In the previous Standard I hosted, I mentioned that I have been a small-town boy for almost my entire life. For those of you who grew up in a small town, you will understand what I mean when I say that I hold loyalty to small town boys who make it big. In my hometown of Smithers, Dan Hamhuis is superstar. Before I moved here though, my hometown of Cassiar, B.C. had its superstars too. There are now two current NHLers who trace their roots to Cassiar. Scott and Rob Niedermayer both spent parts of their youth in Cassiar. In fact, Rob was born there, and his dad was the town doctor at the time! Scott played novice hockey in Cassiar before his family moved to Cranbrook around 1980.

Recently, my own father returned from his ten-day stint working in Northern B.C. He brought back several pictures of Cassiar, now a ghost town. One of the pictures taken is of the Cassiar Centennial Arena. It still stands, though abandoned nearly fifteen years ago, and is exactly as I remember it. My brother and I played hockey in this arena from 1986-1992. It was the first rink we ever played hockey in. We grew up in this arena. This arena was our second home.

And I have every reason to believe it was the first arena Scott Niedermayer ever played on. You may recognize his name, he won the Norris trophy in '03-'04 as the best defenseman in the NHL. And it is my hope that he will return to Canada with a gold medal wrapped around his neck. Even though he isn't playing in this year's tourney, here's hoping Team Canada returns with the gold medal.


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With that, I present to you the 37th Edition of the Red Ensign Standard. It covers the period of February 3rd - February 17th.



A Chick named Marzi takes the Iranian government to task on their response to the whole Danish Cartoon affair. She also need your help with the lyrics to a Radiohead song!

Abraca-Pocus! gives us the results of her experiements with perfume fragrances, and explains why she has been slack with the podcasts.

Ith at Absinthe & Cookies notices a bit of a paradox about divine snack foods. After recovering from those rotten allergies, she shows us a more humane way of dealing with mice.

Over at Albion's Seedlings, jmccormick discusses the vast productivity gap between the United States and the rest of the world. Peter Saint-Andre writes a fascinating piece called The Consequences of History, and James C. Bennett's
Two Cheers for Neo-Realism is definitely worth a look as well.

Andry in the Great White North disagrees with former US President Bill Clinton, he tackles the divisions within the Anglican Church, and notes the irony that occurs when newspapers select stories based on potential harm caused.

DirtCrashr at Anthoblogogy provides us with gratuitous gun Pr0n, and shows us how he deals with varmints all at the same time! He then points readers to a hilarious Aerosmith remake.

John of Argghhh! exchanges unpleasant emails with one Debbie Schlussel. He then defends the rights of gun owners and provides a link to the first ever usage of the term "gun porn" (that should help generate traffic, John!)

The Asiapundit has proof that the Chinese aren't quite ready for the whole voting thing. He discusses online censorship here and here. It is also perfectly okay to bite the hand that feeds, or at least, hate the Japanese but love the Sushi!

Babble On. Babbling Brooks is ticked that our armed forces have to groval in order to fly helicopters we used to own. He doesn't think publishing those infamous cartoons in Canada will endanger the lives of Canadian soldiers anymore than they are are. He also challenges fellow Brigade members over the David Emerson cabinet appointment. He also comments on the NDP cutting off Buzz Hargrove.

King of Blue Perspective is in D.C. right now. Can't wait to see those pics! You can read his comments on the cartoon controversy, and gives the gears to Garth Turner.

At Bound By Gravity, Andrew is happy to see Rona Ambrose saying No to Emissions Credits with the Kyoto Accords. He address Liberal Petulance and says they are right to be that way. He also gets a range of comments about universal Child Care.

Bumf recommends the soothing sounds of Carrie Catherine. Between periods of brutalization, Huck finds the time to tackle media bias in Canada, and encourages us to buy Western.

It's nice to see Canadian Comment posting regularily again. Dana writes about his personal boycott posts his thoughts on MP's crossing the floor, and applauds the NDP for cutting Buzz Hargrove.

Canadianna gets a pile of comments on her post, Taking Responsibility. She doesn't think the new scoring system for Olympic skating will make the judging any cleaner than before. She's also got a problem with the way Garth Turner expresses his opinion.

Chris over at Chris Cam addresses hypocrisy at the U.N. (warning: extremely graphic pictures!!!). He then offers up his thoughts on the Cheney hunting accident, sans pictures. He also offers up his thoughts on Kanye West's latest comments.

The Conservative Canadienne is urging cooler heads to prevail in the Tory camp. He also doesn't think the CBC is not being very genuine when they say they want to preserve and promote Canadian culture.

At Dust My Broom, Shere Khan brings us a story from Nunavut about a woman who tackles a polar bear in order to save her children. Shere also congratulates Steve Smith for being awarded the Order of Canada. Darcey offers his thoughts on the rascist comment elicited by reporter Ric Dolphin of the Western Standard.

At Enter Stage Right, Steven has pictures of the "mild" winter he's been experiencing, and talks about why he continues to blog (hint: it's not about the money). He wonders aloud why there was no Muslim outrage towards Egypt for publishing the cartoons.

To curb the blog slump he's been feeling lately, Alan at Genx at 40 has created Friday Chat Days. Besides thinking about how silent Stevie has been lately, he's been keeping tabs on the shadow cabinet.

Grandinite provides one of the reasons he likes economics so much. He's also got cartoons to offend everyone on your block, and reminds us forgetful types about another cartoon that offended folks right here in Canada.

Blair italicizes his thoughts on the UN's International Day of the Expert. He also satirizes the riots in Pakistan, discusses humour and the narcissist (hey, I resemble that remark!), and does a fine fisking of the Calgary Herald.

John Murney is officially on holidays until the 27th. But before he departs, he gives kudos to Stephen Harper for his reaction to the cartoons. He also asks if the NDP's proposal to have party-switching MP's run in a by-election has a chance of passing from bill to law. And this truly is a novel idea!

John the Mad goes after Bill Graham unflattering picture and all. He sends Saddam some lovely Valentine's Day wishes, and his essay on the islamic riots is most certainly worth your time.

Glenda at Just Between Us Girls looks into the Project Truth Inquiry, something I never would have known about had I not read her blog. She also wishes to remind Conservative Party folks that this ain't no bantam house-league hockey tournament.

Keith at Minority of One is also going to be away for the next little while. Hope he has fun in Oz... the jerk :-). Be sure to have a look at the vigorous action he suggests be taken against Iranian Nuke plants.

MKBraaten makes all men cringe with this story, he gloats over his one correct cabinet pick (heh!), and his essay entitled "Garth Turner: Media Liability" is very thought-provoking.

Jason Hayes at Musings analyzes comments made by Bryant Gumbel. He has a laugh at the whole Cheney hunting thing, and shows no Valentines love for a convicted rapist/murderer.

Nicholas at Quotulatiousness is no longer laughing at the cartoon spectacle. He quotes the executive director of the New Brunswick Advisory Council on the Status of Women, who pressed to get Moosehead Breweries to pull one of their advertisements. His post on Canadian troops at more risk due to the cartoons being published is here.

THE RAGING KRAUT RETURNS! And I couldn't be happier. Oh, how I missed the merciless rants of Ray. He also insults the concept of the Iranian government changing the name of Danish pastries. Welcome back, Ray.

In his only post of the past two weeks, the Raging Ranter doesn't think the Liberal Party has been sufficiently humbled by their election loss.

Comfortable in his new digs, Paul Denton at Ravishing Light posts on the Shape of Things to Come. His stand on "l'affaire Emerson" should be read as well.

Rhetoricking with Myself awakens from inactivity to share his thoughts on Garth Turner.

And speaking of awakening from inactivity, in Rightjab's only post since January, he thanks his Deity that he'll never be subjected to another Alexander Keith's commercial with the kilt-clad loser.

Ed, The Robot Guy, posts a Monster Su-do-ku. I just recently became addicted to these rotten little puzzles, and I'm loving the alphabetical one. His dissatisfaction with NASA's dogma that explains the formation of the Moon's Diamondback Rille is a good read, as well as his critique of NASA's Vision for Space Exploration. This engine made out of Legos is quite something, but Ed isn't simply confined to Space Geekery. His take on Kathleen Parker's change of heart towards the blogosphere and his disappointment with the Emerson appointment elicted some good comments.

Ruth is shocked shocked! that a beer commercial would be accused of being sexist. Her thoughts on breast implants are, errr, informative and interesting (google bomb, anyone? :). Her rant on women in politics is a great read, and her thoughts on all things Emerson-y/Turner-y can be accessed here and here and here.

Ben of Skeet Skeet Skeet had one post this period, and it is about the Danish Cartoon controversy.

Stephen Taylor points out the positives in the Emerson appointment. As well, his critique of the Prime Minister's website is historical in nature.

Chris at Striving Against Opposition also has positive things to say about Emerson switching parties, and encourages conservatives to look not simply at the battle, but the whole war.

Chris Taylor offers up Rules for Project Management. He's looking for a little bit of sympathy as his new job doesn't leave him much opportunity for taking pictures. And here are his thoughts on the Emerson.

The Conservative Hipster has a new favourite program... and it's ABC's 20/20?!?!?! B-Double also ties into Garth Turner, but for reasons you might not be expecting.

Canada's favourite libertarian smart-ass crank, Jay Jardine, is gearing up for the new racing season. He provides perhaps the finest quote on the whole Emerson affair by bringing up Charlie Brown. You really do need to click and read.

The Green Baron comes home and posts on the Danish cartoons, with a linkfest of mockery goodness as an added bonus!

Shane at the High Places is encouraging folks who lose their jobs to come out west. Normally it's not nice to gloat, but Shane points out an article that says exactly what he said several months ago.

Over at The London Fog, Lisa is encouraging everyone to buy Moosehead beer. She's also got a link to video of a the protests in Paris last week. The ever insightful Mapmaster points out more erosion of personal freedoms, and in his attempt to define pride realizes that "dignity" is not a requirement. Meanwhile, Mike provides a pretty convincing apologetic for Urantia. But not that convincing.

The Meatriarchy celebrated a birthday this week and will be taking a bit of a break from blogging. As always, there is plenty of Gratuitous Meat PrOn to make your mouth water, don't even get him started on Che and Carlos.

The Monarchist defends his traditionalist views and provides a list of great officers of state at the same time. He provides a fantastic list of liberty quotes, while contrasting the reactions of Europe and the Anglosphere. Griffith gives us another view of Elizabeth I. And Shaftesbury makes his inaugural post, and it is a memorable one indeed.

Fresh off hosting the 36th editions of the Standard, The Phantom Observer encourages everyone to get over the Emerson defection. He says using the criminal code against the Western Standard is shaky at best. He also says goodbye to the last offical M.A.S.H. unit, and points out that renewed push for a draft dodger memorial in Nelson, B.C. Finally, he notes how a sportscaster was traded... for a bunny.

Finally, Toronto Tory provides a point-by-point list of what it truly means to be consistent. Besides waiting to implement the hidden agenda, Toronto Tory has a link to the new Liberal Party Website.

This concludes the 37th edition of the Red Ensign Standard. The following blogs were inactive the past two weeks: All Agitprop; All the Time, Blue Tory, Hammer into Anvil, Musings of a Canadian Slacker, MyRick, Shiny Happy Gulag.

I hope you enjoyed clicking and reading as much as I enjoyed assembling.

Oh, the Irony

Taking a break from the Standard...

just enough time to drink a coffee and point out the irony of team Canada being the visiting team for the finals against Sweden in womens hockey...

I still don't feel bad about running up the score.

Running up the Score?

BWAHAHAHAHAAH!!! BWAHAHAH! BWAAA HAHAHAHA!
Swedish Miracle on Ice!

Now whose running up the score, eh???

Look out, Canada, that Swedish goalie is amazing.

Steve who?

Hasn't Steve Moore just like, I dunno, retired or something?

Moore is seeking $15 million in lost wages and damages from Bertuzzi.

Bwahahaha! You were a solid fourth liner, Steve, but your "lost wages" sure ain't worth that much. Give it up, you are embarassing yourself.

Moore's lawyer, Tim Danson, denied there's any connection between the timing of the latest lawsuit and the Olympics.

Danson said the case was filed Tuesday in Toronto, one day before a two-year limitation on the filing of a lawsuit was set to expire.

Uh huh. Right. You had all this time to file this sack-of-shunt lawsuit, by your own admission TWO FRIGGIN' YEARS, and you do it now. Yeah. Sure. What's that I said about timing earlier?

Get Bent.

Wonder how he feels seeing Bertuzzi kicking ass and taking names in Torino? Makes me feel pretty dang good.

Bad, Bad Man

Ergh, I never liked Alexander Keith's that much anyways.

The mutton-chopped actor best known as the beer-obsessed spokesman for Alexander Keith's has been arrested in Toronto for allegedly downloading child pornography.

Robert Norman Smith, 40, turned himself in at Toronto Police's 53 Division yesterday following an undercover investigation that resulted in a search warrant being executed at his residence on Tuesday.

I've got no love for anyone who gets his kicks from kiddie porn, no matter how humourous he may be.

Most of the spots feature the actor sporting a thick, grey wool sweater and kilt while warning other bar patrons in an exaggerated Scottish brogue that they should not spill a drop of their Alexander Keith's ale.

Labatt Breweries of Canada, which owns the Alexander Keith's label, said yesterday it would drop the spots featuring Mr. Smith once it confirms he has been charged.

"We are surprised to learn of these charges," spokesman James Villeneuve said in a statement released after the story was reported on Global News Hour last night.

"Clearly, we have decided not to run any future television commercials featuring this actor until this information is confirmed."

"If it is confirmed that this is the actor in question, our commercials and any further association with him will be terminated."

Good.

Const. Purches, who helped conduct the search of Mr. Smith's residence on Tuesday but was not present when he turned himself in, said he learned of the accused's fame while watching the news.

"It was a very big surprise," he said.

Asked what kind of beer Mr. Smith keeps in his home, the officer said: "Come to think of it, there was Keith's and Corona."

I'm sure the Corona Company will be thrilled to hear this. What a scumbag.

It's all about Timing

My two week foray into the depths of B.C.'s Lower Mainland has come to an end. I had a fantastic time... at least, my friends said I had a fantastic time. I'm having an awful lot of trouble remembering anything. But if they say I had fun, that's good enough for me. As soon I recover my stupid USB cable, I'll post a few pictures.

Truly, life is all about timing. My first day in Vancouver coincided with Stephen Harper's swearing-in. The whole David Emerson affair was hard to avoid, as it was splashing on the front page of every newspaper and free daily. After gauging the somewhat mixed reaction from the good folks in the Red Ensign Brigade, as well as other Canadian bloggers I read, I am sticking with my original feelings on the situation. I don't care how qualified he is for the position. I don't care that Conservatives now have a candidate from a major urban center. I don't care that he will undoubtedly do a fine job as minister of "buying and selling stuff" (or whatever portfolio he was given). This is the same guy that said less than a month ago, "I'm going to be Stephen Harper's worst enemy...". Forget about supporting the Conservative Party with dollars and time, if you really want to gain favour with the CPC, start calling them names and saying they are evil and un-Canadian. That's the way to really move up in the CPC. The position should have been given to someone who is, like, ya know, CONSERVATIVE! Or at the very least, someone who wasn't bad-mouthing the party a day before the election.

My holidays also timed nicely with the increasing hostilities in the Middle East over a bunch of satirical cartoons that were printed in Danish newspaper (then re-printed by other Euro mags reporting on the story). Boy oh boy, those craZy cartoons! They're a riot. No, seriously. And imagine my suprise and glee to find out that Ezra Levant was going to publish them in the Western Standard. How happy I was to pick up the Metro while waiting for my bus and read that some liberal academic "scholar" is against printing the cartoons. Shocking. I wish I had kept that daily instead of trashing it. One could argue that our brave forces in Afghanistan will face more attacks, as crazed muslim crackpots take their unrighteous anger out on the Maple Leaf. As if this somehow justifies their terrorist actions. Cripes to that, I say.

And as if things couldn't have been timed any better, the Canucks go in the tank against the Blues at home last Wednesday, and then do the same against the Ducks on Friday. The decision to attend the Ducks game was a last-minute one. I won't say where I got the tickets, but don't think scalper. Really. The Canucks record when Temujin attends their games is now 0 wins and 5 glorious loses. Please Canuck fans, hold your applause. I was soooo tempted to go to their final game before the Olympic break on Sunday. but decided instead to visit a friend in Coquitlam. Naturally, the Canucks won the game in overtime on a beautiful give-n-go by the Sedins. I bet it was even better to watch live in person. *Sigh*

And now I'm back home, attempting to re-adjust to normal life now. I'm hosting the 37th edition of the Red Ensign Standard this weekend. This means I'll be spending most of my evenings holed up in front of my computer, scouring blog post upon blog post written by some of the finest people I've ever been associated with. And with everything that has gone on the past two weeks, it should be a fantastic Standard. Stay tuned folks, it's gonna be good. The timing, as they say, is impeccable.

Update 6:45pm. I forgot to mention that Dick Cheney shot a friend of his on a hunting trip while I was away. I'm glad the guy will be okay, and to see the media howling like hyenas but coming away hungry is really entertaining.

Gone but not for good

I'll be out of town for the next two weeks or so. Blogging will be scarce, but there may be something new up here every few days.

A boatload of pictures will be uploaded upon my return.

Yeah, life sucks.

You may be able to see me on February 8th. I'll be at the Canucks/Blues game, which can be seen via pay-per-view. I'll be the loud, drunken, obnoxious fellow that gets escorted out of GM Place while his three distraught friends vainly attempt to disuade security from pounding me into oblivion. If you are walking on Georgia Street in Vancouver on the 8th, please don't say anything to encourage me. It will only make this worse!

I apologize in advance for my idiocy, m'heh.