The long-awaited Manitoba wrap-up

I have returned safely to Smithers. It was a glorious week indeed, full of crazy-coolness, and some wonderful surprises. Here, as promised, are the highlights:

• I arrived in Winnipeg last Wednesday night. To my delight, both Yams and Chap were there to greet me! My first words were "And I said why the F___ not Winnipeg???" It was a historic quote that needed to be repeated.
• That night, we went to Tony Roma's restaurant in the Peg. $100 dollars later, the crew was stuffed with ribs and steak and beer (well okay, I was stuffed with beer!)
• On the drive home, we stopped in a field to check out the stars. Awesome meteor shower last week in the Northern Hemisphere! Hope you all caught some of it if you could.
• Drove to a place called Schanzenfeld in Southern Manitoba to drop off Yams at his place. Say it with me: Schanzenfeld!
• Ended the night in Gnadenthal, found out I was sleeping in Mini-me's bed! He took the floor in his parents room. Thanks Mini! You rock, dude!
• Thursday night: Blue Bomber Game. The Bomber's did quite well, and managed to beat the star-laden Eskimos. We sat in the upper deck, North West corner of the stadium (Section 6a). They were excellent seats, but since all the scoring was done at the south end of the field, we were a little disappointed! Chap and I were also a little peeved, because during the Highlight Reel Play by Derrick Smith (48 yard td pass, beating off two tackles, avoiding a third and diving into the endzone), we were walking down the stairs to get some refreshments! All were heard were 27,000 fans go ballistic, and we just looked at each other and said "awww crap!" Yams had a good laugh at our expense, and I began to wonder if God was perhaps trying to tell me something... since it was my desire for beer that made me miss the play. But then I thought, "nah, couldn't be" and enjoyed the brew.
• After the game, we went to another restaurant I've never been to before: Kelsey's. It was a pretty cool place, but $14 for a "party platter" that consisted of enough food for one guy just wasn't cool.
• On the way home, we were talking about the lack of police officers in Southern Manitoba. I said that if they pulled us over, I'd say "Hello Ocifer, how are you" hehehe. Well, the reaction I got from Yams spawned a new saying: "I'm attracting some ocifists". It is what you say when you take a wiz in a field. Muahaha! And we wondered if perhaps the plural of Ocifer would be Ocifi... but thought ocifists sounded cooler.
• One Friday, I got to work on the farm a little. Essentially, it was three hours of shovelling gravel. But it was something anyways. After that we played baseball, and I met a whole bunch of dirty cool Manitobans, and got re-acquantied with some dirty's that I had met earlier in the year. It was a ton of fun, and I even hit a couple of homers. The last one was dedicated to Prince George :-)
• Saturday morning, and my back was KILLING me! It was SOOOO SORE! But again, I shovelled dirt for four hours. This time, Chap and I were trying to build a base that could be covered with concrete. It would form the foundation for the new silo Chap's dad wanted to build. It actually helped the back... once I stretched it out, I felt fine. That night, it was Harvest Festival time! How totally Manitoba! Oh yeah, and how could I forget... we had a fantastic steak dinner at Yam's house. Hot danny can his dad cook!!! Best steak I've ever had, bar none. We also spend the night there, and in the morning Yams woke up to the rather infamous CBC Underwear (for more information on that, email me as well!)
• Sunday is church day. There isn't much to say about that :-) We attended Blumenort Mennonite Church. They are affiliated with the General Conference of Mennonites. All in all I can't complain about the service. The lead singer was... erhm... well... hehehe (for more info, email me)!!!! The preaching was good, and I knew most of the songs. In his sermon, the Pastor referred briefly to the hope we have in second coming of the Lord. That was about the only thing that I disagreed with, and when he said it, Chap looked at me and smiled. Ah well, whattya do?
• Monday was an exciting day. We went into the Pig Barns!!!!!! I helped breed seven sows!!!!! SEVEN!!!! The process involves passing three boars in from of the sows, lubricated a cathedre, sticking up the sows' you-know-what, and attaching a bag of boar sperm to it! And gravity does the rest! Huzzah! After that, I went to something they call "processing". It is really more like pig torture!!! The newly-born piglets (I think 5-7 days old or so) and given shots of iron to fortify their systems. That isn't the bad part though... the females are tattooed on their ears with a plier-like instrument, and a bingo dabber is used to color in the holes left behind! What is worse, is with the males, two slits are made wear their gonads are, and the handler proceeds to rip out the gonads one at a time! DANG DOODLE! I wasn't quite up to doing that part, but everything else I did.
• From "Processing", I went into another part of the barn where I helped give a bunch of gilts (female pigs less than a year old that have not had a litter of piglets) their vaccinations. They get three shots, and a mouthful of something that I guess makes them healthy! The system of moving the gilts from their pens, to the injection site, and back again is quite something... especially when the stupid pigs walk the wrong way!
• Finally, I gave birth to a Piglet! Well, not in the literal sense of course, but Chaps sister asked me to help her after I was done with the vaccinations. She had a big plastic glove on that covered her whole arm. I said "uhhh... I don't think I want to help you!!!" But, she led me to the birthing station, and there was a sow lying down with three little piggies that had just been born. She said something to the effect of "these three piglets were born in rapid succession, but there hasnt been any born for about twenty minutes. I need you to go in and see if there is a piglet stuck in the sow". So, with relatively little hesitation, I lubed up the left-handed glove, got low to the ground, and... erhm... "entered" the sow with my hand! SOOOO DIRTY!!!!! Immediately, I felt two little legs. Chap's sister said "grab and pull!", so I grabbed and pulled. Out popped a teeny tiny little piglet. Within a few moments, he was up and about, walking towards the nipple of milky nourishing goodness! I think he got it from my mom's side of the family... we were all early walkers :-) Now that I think of it... I can't really recall whether it was a male or female... Hey Chap, ask your sister if she remembers!!!!!
• That night, we went to Rosenort to visit with some fellow CBC'ers. It was really awesome to see the Dueck again, and I must again say that if you buy his CD, you will not be disappointed. His drumming is excellent, and well worth the ten bucks! It was also cool to see "Badminton Boy" again. (Note to Juice: All kidding aside dude, you kick ass, and I'm beyond proud that you consider me a friend... we will re-match someday, I promise!) I found out that the Dueck's dad is an avid reader of West Coast Chaos... well... perhaps not avid, but a reader nonetheless! No wonder he gave me such a gruff handshake! Now he knows how truly dirty I am!
• Tuesday I slept in, while Chap worked in the pig barns again. We ate lunch, and drove to the Peg to catch my 4:00pm flight to Vancouver. That pretty much wraps up the trip, from Vancouver I flew to Prince George, where my wonderfully wonderful parents picked me up and drove me home.

It was an excellent vacation. I still can't get over how flat it was though. I've also gotta mention poor Yams... he stayed up with us pretty late, and then had to get up really ealy and go to work! HEHEHE!!!! What a great guy.

If any of you out there would like to tour an amazing pig farm facility, I'm sure the awesome folks at Prairieview Pork in Gnadenthal, Manitoba would be more than willing to show you around!!