Oh my!

Well, my humble apologies to all five of our regular readers for my long absence. My mind has been obsessed with other things, but I'm happy to say that I'll be around here posting more for the next little while. Ah yes, well, I'm sure you're all wondering where I have been. To tell you the truth, I've been here...at home...sitting around watching the olympics and hanging out with friends. I could have been posting, but I chose not to, because I was lazy.

This has led me to a new realization about life. You know when people are always going on about how busy they are, and they use this as an excuse so they don't have to do anything. Well, I think that in general, people can find time for things that are important to them. Now...there are exceptions. There were two weeks this summer when I worked 85 plus hours...absolute insanity...and in that case, I really didn't have time for anything that wasn't work related. But in general, people only work between 40 and 55 hours a week, and yet they're always too busy to, say, return your emails, or give you a lift to work in the morning, or have dinner at your house, or whatever.

It all comes down to a few important factors. One is how motivated you are as a person. I've gone through phases in my life where everything becomes a monotonous cycle. I get up early in the morning, go to work, get home in the afternoon, make supper, watch some tv, and then go to sleep. This will go on forever if something doesn't happen to wake me up. Lately, I've been doing the opposite (well, up until last week, that is). I've begun a habit of making to do lists....not just lists for menial tasks that must be done...but lists of things I can do to improve my existence in every way possible (and any way that is worth the trouble). For example, I've been coveting an electric guitar that my friend owns for months now, but haven't really taken any steps to saving towards one like it....not until a few weeks ago, that is. When I started writing to do lists, I put "guitar" up at the top, and now I've started looking for ways to make more money so I can get this guitar...while at the same time keeping in mind my intention of visiting Mongolia sometime next summer (another financial endeavour)...as well as schooling (I'm attending a school in Fall where tuition is $380 a credit hour....which is $1140 per 3-credit-hour course).

Well, the long and the short of it is, ever since I started making to do lists, I've been far more motivated to get things done, and it all seems to work towards one goal, which is the betterment of my existence. Now, before you get all preachy with me about making plans without the inclusion of God, let me share quickly my philosophy on this matter. Some people see the life of faith as a life in which there is no planning from their own (human) end. They kind of live life by the seat of their pants....making decisions last minute....avoiding things that may make them happy because they haven't heard God orally command them to do it. In a sense, I respect these people for their brand of faith. I always respect people who live out their beliefs with integrity. However, nobody....I repeat...nobody lives this out to completeness. I've never heard of a person who doesn't make little decisions every day without consulting God. What we'll eat for breakfast in the morning...who we'll have lunch with today....what kind of hobbies we'll take up for a while. Let's look for a moment at this last example. You may think it's a small matter, taking up a hobby. But who knows....it could turn into a lifestyle before you even realize it. I have a friend who started taking courses on pottery...just for fun. He didn't even intend on spending more than an hour a week on this hobby. He also didn't fast and pray for two weeks before taking his first course (which, for him, wouldn't have been surprising). Well, before you know it, Todd's a professional potter running a business out of his home...and actually making decent money off it. And all because of one little course he took more out of curiosity than anything.

My point, you ask? Well, simply this...that more often than not, we make decisions from our hearts that end up being (in my opinion) exactly where God's will is, even though the decision felt like it was completely our own. Where do you think the desires of our heart come from? One of the desires of my heart is to visit the European countries like England, Germany, France, Italy, Greece, and so on. I'm resolved upon going some day, and I'm as good as certain it'll happen. However, if God doesn't want it to happen, it won't. But there's nothing wrong with planning for it, because it's something I've been dreaming of, and those dreams don't usually exist unless there's some spark of the divine within it.

Well, I wasn't intending on writing this much when I sat down thirty minutes ago...and I won't bother checking it for spelling, grammar and flow, because I'm just too damned lazy. Talk to you all later!

- Pei