Friday, January 20, 2006


As the election campaign comes to a close, party leaders are stepping up their attacks on one another. At a rally in Victoria on Friday morning, Paul Martin had this to say,

"Let me be clear on this. The Liberal party has always valued clarity above all else. Stephen Harper has not been clear with the Canadian people. His clarity is not clear. His policy platforms do not answer questions that clearly need to be asked. What about clearing up Kyoto? What about missles over our clear skies and in our clear space? And how about his clearly hidden agenda with George W. Bush?"

The crowd of dozens cheered wildly at Martin's speech. One Liberal supporter, who asked to remain nameless, remarked, "I can feel the tide of this campaign turning. People are finally seeing that Stephen Harper's hidden agenda includes turning Canada into the 52nd state!" After another reporter mentioned that there are currently only 50 states, the Liberal supporter was overheard as saying "well, you can clearly see how sneaky that Harper truly is!".

Martin went on to say that "...even the NDP has confused otherwise clear progressives with their unclear message. If Jack Layton will not be clear with progressive Canadians, then he'd better move over, because I will be!"

"I want to be perfectly clear here," continued Martin, "Canada needs a clear leader with clear values. The only other clear party leader in this campaign has been Gilles Duceppe. But he is a separatist, and is clearly in bed with the Conservatives. And since Jack Layton has clearly abandoned his party's principles, I am the only clear choice for clarit- er, I mean for Prime Minister."

Much to the delight of Liberal supporters, Martin ended his speech by saying "Let me be clear: vote for clarity. Vote Liberal."

This sets up what should be a very intriguing weekend.